Campus Newspaper Article

ENCRYPTION LEVEL: THREE

Party Time for Local Students

Students at the Elion University of Science and Technology have held an unconventional party this weekend.

While their peers may have been out until the wee hours wearing lampshades on their heads and drawing eyebrows on sleeping colleagues, students Jackie Stern and Olivia Broussard spent the weekend in their dorm, refreshments and decorations ready, waiting for the arrival of the guests of honor: themselves.

The two prospective STEM students, who study theoretical physics with a focus on the workings of space time, conducted the experiment under the assumption that, were their theories about the malleability of space time to ever come to fruition, their future selves could travel back in time to greet them at the party, proving the existence of time travel.

They weren't inconsiderate of their future selves' busy schedules though; should the guests of honor be unable to attend, they were encouraged to send back a message using the codeword "Hourglass" to communicate that, while they certainly wanted to come, they were simply unable.

Sadly no one RSVP'd or arrived to the party, but that did not dishearten Olivia or Jackie.

As Olivia put it, "It just meant more snacks for us!”